When I get stressed or down I usually (dare I admit it?) cry, then I jump back up and give myself a pep talk and get on with things.
But when I get to the point where I think about asking for help; whether it is asking my friend to take my kids for an afternoon, asking for help to get “my list” done, or even just asking for help while I run a couple errands, I always stop myself. I never call anyone and I don’t ask for help.
But why? Why can’t I ask for help.
My friends are my friends, my family is my family. They wouldn’t be either if they didn’t love me. And I am always willing and offering to do these things for them, so why can’t I ask help from them when I so badly need it? It’s not like I need the help often, but you know what I mean…sometimes you just need that break or those two extra hands to get your sanity back.
But I know I’m not the only one who is afraid of admitting they need… “the H word”.
What is so wrong with admitting we are human? What is so wrong with saying that you can’t work out, get ready, look amazing; get the kids fed, bathed, dressed; get the house cleaned, detailed, laundry done, amazing meals prepared, and work done; get the home work completed, hobbies fulfilled, callings done, children read to and taught, craft time, and play hostess to whatever we fill our calendar with?
I recently attended a conference where Meg Johnson shared various stories, all which were very inspiring, but one of my favorites was how she expressed her challenges to complete her to-do list, and her sister recommended that instead of writing things down on a to-do list, she should wait until the end of the day and write down all she had accomplished and call it a “Tada” list!
I LOVED this idea! And some days, that is exactly what I do. When I share the daily happenings with my husband, sometimes jokingly I tell him I brushed my teeth and bathed one of the three kids! My point is that it IS okay to ask for help and to admit you can’t do it all. We all need help, we cannot do it on our own.
Whoever gave us the idea that it isn’t acceptable to be anything less than perfect, hasn’t tried to do it day after day and be successful at it. Even if you accomplished half of the things on the list above in a single day would be amazing!
There are lots of definitions for what “being successful” means, but to me…being successful is simply living, and doing it with joy. What else is there?
The other side of asking for help is accepting it when it is offered. When people do offer me help, whether I ask for it or not, whether I need it or not; without missing a beat I turn it down. “No, we’re good, just busy.” This is usually my go-to response. And it isn’t a lie. Usually we are very busy, usually I cause the business for myself, and I don’t ask for help…so yeah, it’s all on me. But it is okay to accept it when it is offered. They are trying to serve another, and I need to be humble enough to accept help.
I know that sometimes I take on more than I can chew, and sometimes life just shuffles out the hard trials all at once, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. But I would rather use the H word a little bit more than break down or stress out because I feel inadequate. I don’t expect anyone else to be able to do it all, so why do I expect it of myself?
So, here is to using the H word when I really mean it! Good luck to you too… 🙂